Patience is a virtue, and probably that of which I struggle with the most. Unless you count knowing God is in control as a virtue. Then it goes to number two.
I have a very hard time "letting go, and letting God" as the church world has so coined. It really means just knowing that YOU are not in control, and letting Him do what He planned to do. I try so hard, and I pray so hard, and I read so hard... and just when I think I have given it all to God a little voice in my head says "Well, I can just help Him out a bit."
Kind of a funny idea if you think about it. Me, helping God? The creator of the universe. The one who spoke and things became things. The one who is omnipresent. The one who love us all unconditionally. The one who let his son be killed on a cross, just so that he could have a relationship with is. I could help him... right?
I don't know if it came from my Dad, being utterly in control of everything, or just human nature. I truly feel at a loss when I don't have control of it all. Trying to no be in control It stresses me out, on top of already being stressed about the thing that I am trying to give up to God. If you know me you know I do not handle stress well. I become a blubbering tear bag on the verge of a nervous breakdown. You would think that this would make it easier for me to give it up, and to just stop worrying and let it be. HA! I would thing so too...
I REALLY need to work on this.
Is there anything YOU are working on?