Tuesday, July 27, 2010

To me!

On Thursday I will officially be another year older, and hopefully another year wiser.

This year really isn't bothering me. I dislike odd numbers, so in a way turning the next even number kinda makes me feel better. I don't know if this is a coping mechanism for getting older, or if somewhere in childhood it was instilled in me that odd numbers were bad, but either way I like even numbers better. Always have. Remember when you were in school and they would number you off for groups or games? Most people would move to be in the same number group as their friends. I would move to be an even number. Maybe its just the names, odd and even, that formed my opinion years and years ago.

Anyway, back to the looming age. I think I am doing pretty well for myself at the ripe old age of 2_*. I have been married almost 3 years. In management in the career of my choice. Living in a nifty loft.  Not to say that this may be my perfect life, but God's timing is always the right timing and we will soon see what he has in store for us. Children, ministry, relocating, ballin' out of control... these are all things that may or may not come in our near or far future.

Don't go getting all excited now, we are not trying to conceive... but I do want children some day. I just don't feel the tick of my biological clock. Which, again, I believe is God's timing and knowing when and where we should settle down to start our family. In fact, child birth and pregnancy are my biggest fears in life, but that is a whole nother post!

I really do think that I have learned a lot in these years though. I have lived a lot of life, witnessed and felt a lot of heartbreak, and experienced pure joy. I have drawn close to God, and also pushed him away at some times. I have been a good influence, a stick in the mud, and a crazy person. My thought about this all though, is what is left? I know its a whole lot but sometimes its too much for me to fathom. To think that what I have done and been through are just the beginning. I am still a kid in most people's eyes. 30 is the new 20 and I haven't even reached that yet!

So what will I wish for when I blow out my birthday candles? Happiness, Health, Love, Courage, and Strength. I can't tell you more than that or my wishes won't come true. I can tell you this though, ever sine I saw Alice in Wonderland this year I have been wondering where my muchness went... but believe me, I won't be missing for long if they all come true :)


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